We did this activity in my English 101 class last week where we had to write letters to our younger selves. In this letter, we were asked to offer advice, say what we wish we could have paid more or less attention to, what our younger self got right or wrong about our future, and then of course we had to read and respond to peer submissions after submitting our own letter.
Here’s part of my letter to my past self:
Dear Kayden,
Looking back at all the situations you’ve been through, I don’t think you’ve made any wrong choices in your life. I don’t regret any decisions that you’ve ever made. What I wish for you, is that you would realize that.
I remember being your age and often staying up late into the night obsessing over the choices I’ve made or needed to make. I know you have so much fear about making the wrong choice and completely screwing up your life in the long run. I know you’re haunted by your past decisions and how they might have put you on the wrong path. But I have learned that there is no such thing as a “wrong” choice. You simply have to make a choice, and confidently stick to it. Of course, there are a million directions your life could go based on one little decision, but whatever is meant to happen will happen. You need to move forward assuredly and not look back. Never regret your past decisions because every experience, positive or negative, is a learning experience. Everything happens for a reason.
After submitting that, I got to read my peer’s letters, and what I read was very eye-opening. I came to the conclusion that people need to be nicer to their past selves (you included!). My classmates tore apart their tiny nine year old selves to smithereens. Their letters were lists of things that they hated about themselves, all the mistakes that they made that they still regret, unreasonable expectations about things that they were doing, and harsh judgments about things that they weren’t doing. Which I don’t get. Your past self doesn’t have the knowledge or experience that you have now, so how could they possibly have known? Let’s give our past selves some grace because they don’t know what we know now.
After this experience, I’ve started to think that some people judge and ridicule their past selves too much, and that’s keeping them from loving their future and present selves. Let your inner child heal from the “mistakes” that they’ve made. If you don’t forgive your past, how are you supposed to move forward? I don’t have any regrets in life. Not because I’ve done everything perfectly, but because I have forgiven past Kayden for the fact that she didn’t know everything. She had to take a leap of faith and make a decision without knowing the outcome, and that took a lot of bravery. So let's give a round of applause to our past selves for getting you to where you are today. Give your inner child some grace because, after all, they’re just a child. Remember that forgiveness is not just a choice, it's also a process and a journey, and it starts in your past.
If you could write a letter to your past self, what would you say? Would you say thank you?
