Maybe this is just a me problem, but I used to have a massive fear of success. You read that right. Success. Instead of fearing failure, I feared success. I think this probably stemmed from my revulsion of the change and the publicity that came along with success. My fear became so extreme that I would purposefully mess up or hold myself back in school and at auditions because I was so scared of succeeding.
But just recently, I have come to realize that by holding myself back from succeeding, I’m also holding myself back from learning and growing. By being so scared of being “seen” in life, I have stopped myself from pushing myself to be the best version of myself that I can be.
So instead of obsessing and fearing success, I have started to seek and glorify rejection. And by changing my perception of the big scary things, I’ve changed the way I experience them.
I know we’ve all heard it before, and it remains cheesy and cliche, but it’s so true that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So instead of letting the fear of missing the hoop stop me from shooting the basketball, I am now mass-ordering basketballs in the mail and throwing every single one at the backboard. Hell, I’ve even started throwing various other objects like my shoes and water bottle at the rim because something has to go through the hoop. From now on, I make sure to take 120% of the shots because how else am I supposed to make a shot? It is important to put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to be seen trying.
So what if? What IF? What if you tried? What if you didn’t let your fear be bigger than your passion?
My New Year's resolution for 2023 was to challenge the "what ifs" and to seek out rejection as many times as possible.
In August of last year, I had the best idea for getting rejected, which was to apply for a job I had absolutely no experience with. This seemed like a surefire way to get rejected. So I wrote up a cover letter, dug out my résumé, and sent off my application to the Herberger Theater Center where I applied to be a theater technician. Let me emphasize again that I most definitely did not have the training or background for this job. But somehow, this trial journey for rejection turned into the beginning of my passion for technical theater; I got the job! I have now been working at the Herberger for about 6 months, and have even decided that it’s something I want to go to school for and pursue long-term professionally.
If I had gone into this application process obsessing and seeking success, I probably wouldn’t have even applied because I was certain that I wouldn’t be hired in an area where I had no experience. Because I changed my mindset and sought rejection instead, it stripped away the fear and doubt that I was feeling. Without even knowing it, I created an opportunity I never would have imagined myself doing, and I set myself down a new path for a passion I didn’t even know I had.
Unless this is Micheal Jordan reading my blog, I know you don’t have a ton of basketball experience; but why are you letting that stop you from taking shots? I challenge you to start finding some basketballs or pinecones or pieces of crumpled-up paper and just start throwing them at the basketball hoop. Don’t wait until you feel like you’re good enough to start making shots because that’s not how it works. Confidence doesn’t come with ability and bravery doesn’t happen in the absence of fear. So stop waiting until you feel confident to do scary things. Feel the fear and act anyway. Your fear is valid, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the scary thing.
